Friday, January 29, 2010

24 hours since I've eaten. I'm learning.
It's been a long time since I've gone a day without eating, and this isn't what I expected. I woke up this morning, and immediately thought of breakfast - until I saw the reminder I had written on my hand :) Now it's evening - and nothing has changed. Same subtle craving - mildly uncomfortable, but tolerable. Observations:
1) "eating when I'm hungry" may not be a reliable plan. . . back to the drawing board for that. . .
2) activities change: often times, I'll get home, make some food, and sit down to watch an episode of Lost. Today, I didn't sit down to eat, and I didn't watch Lost. Maybe I was more "productive" - but not sure if that's necessarily a good thing. . .
3) the expectation of eating is a major factor. the fact that several times today I've found myself planning out what I'll be eating tomorrow has made me consider the possibility of waiting until sunday. again, not looking to starve myself or anything, but part of the objective is to prevent the thought of food and eating from taking up most of my daily thought. . .
4) on the subject of dieting though, today has reminded me how little will power we often care to extend in the realm of eating. everyone talks about how hard it is to lose weight - and although this is by no means a ground-breaking conclusion - these things (anything that is a matter of will power) simply aren't that difficult if we REALLY want to do them.
Went to the library today, intending to get a copy of Michael Pollan's "The Omnivore's Dilemma." They didn't have a copy, so I reserved it, and picked up his more recent "In Defense of Food." A few chapters in, here are some passages that struck me as relevant:
1) "that eating should be foremost about bodily health is a relatively new and, think, destructive idea - destructive not just of the pleasure of eating, which would be bad enough, but paradoxically of our health as well"
-this served as a good reminder to myself that I'm not interested in questioning the pleasure of eating - in no way do I have any ascetic-type plans for this experiment. If I'm not enjoying whatever minimalist diet I end up settling on, I'll consider that a level 1 failure.
2) "this is the burden of the third and last section of in defense of food: to propose a couple dozen personal rules of eating that are conducive not only to better health but also to greater pleasure in eating, two goals that turn out to be mutually reinforcing
-looking forward to getting to these. Don't know if they'll reflect what I have in mind, but I'm interested in anything that represents a different way of viewing how and what we eat.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Hunger

Krissy asked me about a daily calorie limit - exactly how much I would be eating. I originally replied that I would attempt to eat "three 'reasonably sized' meals" - and felt satisfied with that response. I was operating under the unspoken assumption that I would simply eat whenever I was hungry. While at work today, I went on break, and ate a sandwich. I grabbed the sandwich because I was on break. I thought about it, and I wasn't even sure if I was hungry or not. Then I realized something that I consider to be really eye-opening - I haven't been hungry in about a decade. Seriously.
I was "hungry" last week. A few weeks ago, I was complaining about not wanting to eat more Ramen noodles. But I haven't been hungry in over ten years. I'm talking about "not having eaten, and not having any food" hungry. In fact, I would wager that most of reading this (myself included) have forgotten what true hunger was like, if we've ever experienced it at all.
I'm not going to eat tomorrow. I'm going to have water, and two 8oz. glasses of juice. We'll see how that goes, and take it from there. Nothing ascetic about this, but I realized that if I'm going to claim to eat when I'm hungry, I better darn well know what hunger feels like.

Revision

I went to the store yesterday and did a sort of inventory - putting together around 50 "meals." These ranged from salad to rice to black beans to pb&j to pizza - and I had every intent of assigning them their numbers last night. However, a few of us @ the house were talking last night, and an interesting point was brought up regarding the randomization method. . . One of my main goals in this is attempting to change to way that I (we?) think about food: trying to see it as a biological imperative, rather than a reward, or even a daily event. Someone (Fay? Liz?) mentioned that the method I was planning, the randomization, would do little more than replace the anticipation of the food that I wanted with the anticipation of the random number that I wanted. In some sense, In think they're correct - and that's not what I want.
So, as it stands, the new method may be this: black beans, and rice. I'm going to look further into the nutritional benefits of both foods, but I think I may try to eat only black beans, rice, or black beans and rice (along with a multivitamin, fish oil, and a protein supplement). If it turns out that these simply aren't going to provide what I need, nutrition-wise, I will add something (fruit or vegetable X). This simplistic approach, however, seems like it will help accomplish what I'm aiming to accomplish better than the previous plan. Thoughts?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Impetus and inception

I have been counting down the days until my birthday (February 6th), when I would make my nigh-annual attempt at vegetarianism. Past attempts have lasted from 1 month to 6 years, but I have consistently given in to the craving. Simply put, I like eating meat. These attempts have been made only because I realize that, in our society, it simply isn’t necessary. Thus, these attempts have consistently ended when I justify my actions: that the pleasure I get from eating meat is > the pleasure I receive from not (let’s face it, needlessly) taking part in the killing of animal life.
I understand that the last part of that sentence will start some quibbles. There are many other reasons I’d rather not eat meat (e.g. the amount of resources necessary to produce a pound of hamburger) - and I know some people will say that one individual (myself, in this case) choosing to not eat meat will have no impact whatsoever on said industries.
For this experiment, I’m not concerned with any of those things.
I want to focus on why I keep failing: I don’t need meat - I want meat. The justification usually goes something like this: “If the naysayers are correct, and my not eating meat isn’t actually saving a single animal life, then I may as well keep myself as pleased as possible, and go make a bacon explosion.”
The rest of this story gets complicated quickly, and owes itself almost entirely to the work of Daniel Quinn (my new favorite author - if you’re tagged in this note, you’ll be hearing more from me about him in the near future, I’m sure) and some recent discussions his work has spawned. Ultimately, here’s the deal:
I (really, we. . .) eat whatever the hell we want. Budget it out, and monthly, we spend a gross amount of our incomes to please the wants of our diets. I’M NOT SAYING THAT THIS IS A “BAD” THING. I’m saying as a short experiment, I want to see what life is like, and how difficult it is, to break that cycle - to try to eat like I’m doing so to survive (fuel biological necessities), rather than as a commercial activity. This is the important part, though: its obviously possible to accomplish this - I want to see if I can reach the point where I don’t MISS my favorite foods. I’d like to try to attempt to remove that crutch.
FINALLY, the experiment:
THE GOAL, SIMPLY: EAT TO LIVE, RATHER THAN LIVE TO EAT
From February 7 to March 1, I’m going to attempt a sort of hybrid, commercialized, foraging-esque diet. I want to simulate a grocery-store-foraging expedition of sorts (N.B. this is the beginning of what may or may not be a series of such experiments, so bear with me, trying to start small and figure this out). I’m going to make a list of 50 inexpensive food items that are at least fairly nutritious, mostly vegetables, with fruits and other foods less well represented (including fake-meat, and fish). I have a random number generator on my ipod (ranging from 1-100, anything above 50 will be a re-roll). I will eat only whatever food corresponds to whatever number comes up, no cheating, for 3 weeks.
1) if you’ve read this far, and you at least understand what I’m attempting to do, any suggestions on how I might do this better?
2) anyone interested in giving this a try with me? C’mon, you’ll learn something about yourself!
3) if ya wanna grab a meal with me at a restaurant, please do it before my birthday!